

So imagine the

tackiest wedding ever! I mean, like "Th

e Wedding Singer in

Vegas" wedding. That would be the wedding that I attended last Saturday. Ok, so I walk in with my landlord and her daughters and immediately I am

like, "Oh, no...holy nast!" It was white with awful chairs and plastic flowers and...exactly how they show wedding chapels in Vegas to be. Then, I'm looking around and I realize that there are green and red lights flashing around like it's some dance floor or basketball game. So the groom walks down like normal and I'm beginning to get over the shock of how God awful this all looks, when the Bride walks down. Remember when I said it looked like a basketball game? Yeah, well now the fog machines come on as the Bride walks down the aisle. Are...you...
serious! At this moment, I wanted someone to laugh with, as bad as that sounds. But apparently this is very normal and typical, so I'm alone with my smile. So then the priest man says something and suddenly the Bride and Groom face each other and jungle music comes on. You know, like the soundtracks you can get that plays tropical birds and frogs and it sounds calm and foggy? Yep, that's one. Then blah blah blah and I found out that the cake is
in the wedding hall because there's no celebration afterwards (they go on their honeymoon right away). So the cake has two candles on it...cool?! They walk over to the cake and guess what happens! Not only do the fog machines on the floor come back but the cake has its own fog machine! My jaw literally dropped at this point, I couldn't hold it anymore, and I acted like I thought is was really cool. Then, you guessed it, they blew out the candles like a frickin' birthday cake. Where on Earth did they get these ideas? Then they do some more talking and stick money in a shoe, and the Groom kisses the Brides ankle and then does push-ups with her on his back and then done! As I was laughing to myself at this whole wedding, they tell me
that was the funny part...riiiiggghhht.
But, as they're walking down the aisle they pop those things that you use for New Years. The poppers that pop out colorful streamers. Yep, sparkling strings everywhere! Including in my face. So...totally 80's Vegas wedding gone all wrong. It was too funny! I couldn't help but think otherwise, I'm sorry! But then after, my landlord talked to them and they let me watch this ceremony that usually only has immediate family and
that was cool. It was straight up Korean, they were all in traditional Korean clothes and were drinking tea and throwing walnuts around and bowing...I don't really know what was going on; but from what I gathered, the nuts represent fertility. I don't get why they try so hard to be like us when they have such cool traditions. I mean, they completely botched the Western style wedding into God only knows what, but the traditional Korean ceremony was really neat.
So this week is Halloween week! Whoo hoo!!! I totally forced it on everyone! My first and 2nd graders, which

are an after school class, got to make ghost suckers (where you put the napkin over the sucker and then draw a face) and spider peanut butter Ritz things. I also found out through this activity, that Koreans are not totally down with the peanut butter. Americans on the other hand eat the stuff by the spoonful. I felt so bad that I ended up just giving them fake Oreos. I should've guess that peanut butter wasn't the best idea. When you go into a store,. there's usually about 3 contain

ers. But I have this girl in my 2nd grade who is soooo awesome! I love her...I know I shouldn't favor but she's super smart and really polite. She helps me translate my direction and does roll-call for me since Hell if I know how to read their names! She's in one of the pictures, the one in pink...the o

ne in pink that's smiling with a Ritz spider. After my last class, the room was a mess and she and two other girls helped me clean and carried my stuff back to my room. So cute!
I also added some pics of me and my faculty. There is this spot where everyone gathers and eats and chats. That's where we are. I made them Peanut butter rice crispy...I took a risk knowing that the PB wasn't cool with they little ones. But they loved them! And then I made chocolate cookies just in case they hated PB too. I also made my co-teacher, Kathy, a special Halloween treat. She helps way too much and her life is...well, life. I just can't imagine raising two tiny kids, being a wife and teacher in Korea, and then having a 23 year old follow you around all day. I just don't think I'll ever be able to make it up to her. So for now, I made her pudding, with Oreo topping, and nutter butters as the tombstone (my dads idea). I wanted to make mud pie with the gummy worms, but go figure...gummy worms are rare and a bit expensive. I've really had to reinvent my cooking. If it's easy to find and make at home, it's probably not ever possible to make here. I mean, my cookies have turned out ok, but nothing like back home. I mean, I'm cool with giving my cookies away back home, but here I'm like "OMG, are they ok? They're totally different! Are they gross?" But one thing I have learned is that their desserts are lower in sweetness than ours, so if my stuff tastes like flour or rice, they'll love it. That's kinda the taste I go for now.

Awww, so on the note of differences in food. My pumpkin sucked! So I was looking at real pumpkins all week (Koreans have tiny green pumpkins that they cook with. The big ora

nge one that we use for Halloween...I'm not really sure what they do with them). So I finally went with my co-teacher, Kathy, and paid too much, according to my friend Brian. Get this beast home and I cut out the top really easy! I think "this is cool!" Then the inside is not like American pumpkins, as the pictures show. I can pop the seeds right out of the guts without on issue and very little soaking to get the nasties off involved. Then I go to make my face and it's cracking everywhere! Every cut I make creates a bigger cr

ack until finally, the forehead falls off. This is after I have cut myself 3 times because I'm getting so frustrated. So the head falls off and I decided F* it! I'm keeping the insides and making soup! So I cut up my non-jack-o-lantern and freeze the pieces. As this is all happening, I'm telling Brian how much the Pumpkins suck and guess what...today I get pictures of his and all his foreigner friends pumpkins. So I

guess it was just my pumpkin

because he was nice enough to rub in my face the fact that they succeeded! Luckily I'm going to where th

ey live tomorrow and I'll at least I'll be able to enjoy looking at one or two! And I suppose 1/2 the fun is making a mess and then eating seeds. And that I did for sure!...Although my pumpkin had about 12 seeds:( But I ate them damn it!
Oh, also I've been having issues with my health. I'm bloated, gain 8 pounds in about 5 days, feels full and tight and vomited the other night. So I did some research and found a few possibilities. I could have cancer, I could be pregnant (Oh please! I haven't been that lucky in God knows when), I'm the virgin Mary, or I have some food allergies. Ok, so since there's so many different things I need to do to figure this out, I've decided to go with easiest: food allergies. This would not normally be a big deal but Koreans are very...judgmental. I didn't even know where to begin explaining this problem. I can't say "Yo! You're food makes me barf! Whats up?" It's very, VERY good food so idk what to say to them. I finally went to my co-teacher when I started getting rib pains (I looked this up too...it's actually sore muscles from vomiting the other night). I was so nervous that I started crying. Ok, this culture is so concerned with their foreigners all the time and they also make judgments and assumptions very quickly. I was crying because I don't want them to think that they have bad food or I don't like it or I'm turning down what they love and eat everyday. Again, it's soooo good. But I've been sooooo sick. I'm pretty sure Kathy understood, so we decided that it was ok for me to bring my own lunch. I read that I should cut out grains, wheat, dairy. blah blah blah, since those for common food allergies. It may also just be that the food is new and has new diseases that my bodies not used to. So for my lunches, I bring only fresh fruits and veggies that I have cleaned in bleached. Well...my co-teacher did not tell anyone that I was doing this so they were all very concerned and some even said "Diet?" All I can say is sick. It's kinda hard to describe whats going on...believe me, I tried for 45 mintues. But get this:
everything Koreans eat are "good for your health." "I'm sick." "No, Miranda, this is good for your stomachache. No Miranda, this fights cancer. No Miranda, this gives you energy. No Miranda, this good for health..." OK OK! Jesus! Nothing here is making me sick, it's all healthy! Got it! So please, give it a go. Try and tell them my problem. It's not easy; it actually sucks because in a way, I'm isolating myself from them. Like I said, they are very judgemental and everyone does the same thing. Different is just not done. But I don't really know what else to do! I'm sick...period. So something so simple as a food allergy has turned into a big concern to the other teachers. Oh, and now they just say diet and I go with it. If they're cool with "diet" but not cool with "sick"...then yeah ok, diet!
Oh and P.S., the personal trainer said that we're good friends when I walked in the other day...so yeah...I'm good friends with a cute, possibly gay but who can tell when all Korean men look gay, guy! Score!
Oh, and if you're thinking that I wear wierd makeup to school...you're wrong! It was Halloween and considering I'm using my old Miller Girl uniform as a costume, I found a tiny face painting was the most appropriate. So no, I do no go to school with purple carp all over my face. Just on Halloween! Happy Halloween everyone! P.S.S., it's nice and pretty warm here for all those in WI and MN! Can you imagine a warm Halloween? I know! I still can't believe it!
OHHHH and geeze, one more thought. You wanna know what I miss the most? Driving. For those of you who know me, you know that I drive when I'm happy, sad, mad, stressed, anything! Now what! I have my Ipod that my super awesome best friend Jen gave me, but it's not the same. I love driving with the music blasting and singing at the top of my lungs and dancing my really bad dances. No one can hear you and you can just zone out. Imagine loosing the one thing that relaxed you. It sux! So now guess what I do. I walk down to this bike path really early in the morning with my Ipod and sing outloud and kinda bob around a bit; it's the closest I can get to driving and singing. So what I want for Chirstmas is for some nice Korean to let me drive their car around the block, alone, a few times. 10 mintues driving around a block would be soooo sweet! Just a few rounds around the block! I promise! Now to find a nice Korean that likes me enough to let me drive...Wish me luck!